On February 18, a day after the 2018 Chinese New Year, at the Tiananmen Square in Beijing, a lone 25-year-old man was being pushed away by many Chinese tourists streaming from the security check point.

With a pocket-sized, fancy leather notebook and a Japanese-imported pencil in his dried hands, he was trying to write a story, for which he didn’t even know what to write.

It was below 40 degree weather. The wind was biting, and the sun was nowhere in the air. But he thought he had to write a story; and to do so, he had to grab some busy tourists and talk to them.

So he did.

He grabbed whoever he thought seemed friendly enough, and asked:

“Excuse me. Do you have few minutes for talk? I am a freelancing journalist, and I want to talk to you.”

My goodness. How embarrassing.

Not only those unfortunate Chinese tourists did not understand his hard-accented English, but also most of them gave him a “What the heck?” look.

But he didn’t care, and continued pestering at random Chinese tourists at his very effort.

Then all the sudden, a young woman from South Africa tapped his shoulder from behind and said:

“Are you a journalist? Do you speak Chinese? Because it wouldn’t be easy to find English speaking Chinese here.”

He wasn’t a journalist, though he kept referring himself a freelancing journalist. In fact, a week before that day, he had come to China for the first time in life as an English writing instructor for elementary and middle school students.

But he replied, rather confidently: “Yes, I am a journalist, and I am trying to get some comments from these tourists for story.”

He was being a shameless lier and also reckless in his behavior. But he was happy. Though he didn’t get any fruits that day, he was still happy simply because he was practicing a sort of journalism — which most professional journalists wouldn’t do.

That shameless and reckless 25-year-old was I, Sean Na, who is writing this candid letter to you 5 a.m. at my apartment in suburb Beijing on April 27, 2018.

Until August 2017, I was doing what I was, and still am, much passionate about: writing stories for the people. I worked as a journalist for several publications in the United States, but had to leave the U.S. for multiple issues, including failing to get a U.S. working visa.

From September to January 2018, I was jobless. I wanted to continue to roll as a journalist in South Korea, my motherland. But the reality crashed, or more likely I wasn’t competent enough to write stories in my country.

Then on the last day of 2017, I was offered a job from China, not as a journalist but as an English writing instructor.

I was hesitant to accept, frankly speaking. I was very hesitant to accept the offer because I wanted to do journalism even for little money.

But ironically money came as an issue. I would have to live off by my parents’ money if I continued to be jobless at the time. Plus, that was the time when I realized I wouldn’t be able to roll as a journalist in South Korea for at least another six plus months. (In fact, I was rejected a job from every newspaper I applied in South Korea. So the blame should be on Sean Na)

I have come to China on February 9. Since then, I have been restless up until now. I have been restless because I’ve been too caught up with such an immature thought: ‘I should have been working hard as a journalist, not an English instructor!’

This letter may read not so pleasant to you, maybe, because I am purposely writing this letter just to whine, whine and whine about myself.

But please do understand, folks, that by writing this letter, Sean wants to start to get his feet sweaty again.

It’s taken quite a while for Sean to realize that he doesn’t have to be entitled as a journalist to write stories. (Special thanks to the journalism field that doesn’t require a person to get licensed to be a journalist)

I am not sure how long Sean would stay in China. However, while he is here, he will try to write as many stories as possible. Chinese people here are wary of talking to journalists. So it may be not so smooth to just write a single story in China. But that’s OK. That is why Sean’s been trained to be an annoying, persistent persuader at his beloved school — the Missouri School of Journalism.

Meanwhile, the leaders of South and North Korea are about to have a talk for the first time in the South Korean territory in few hours.

That could be a story Sean may want to work on in Beijing. Don’t you think?

If you do think so, please cheer with me.

Thank you,

-Sean Na-